WozBot is a publicly accessible AI chatbot running entirely on a MicroPC the size of a paperback book, tunneled to the public internet. No cloud compute. No AWS. No venture capital. An Intel N150 MicroPC with 16GB DDR5 RAM running Ubuntu 24.04, a one-gigabyte quantized language model, and a Cloudflare Tunnel.
Named after Steve Wozniak's 1970s Dial-A-Joke telephone line — a phone number anyone could call to hear Wozniak deliver terrible jokes. WozBot is that phone line rebuilt for 2026 on a quantized language model, delivering terrible 1970s hardware puns to anyone with a browser.
WozBot demonstrates that a functional, publicly accessible AI service requires neither AWS infrastructure nor a venture capital term sheet. The entire stack fits in a device smaller than a paperback book. The model is approximately one gigabyte. It produces coherent responses at acceptable speeds on CPU-only hardware.
"The joke bot is the Trojan Horse. The Phantom is what's inside."
Nobody shares a productivity assistant with their friends. A boisterous AI that tells terrible tech puns and recounts Apple Computer history gets posted on Reddit, forwarded in group chats, and dropped on Hacker News. When someone looks for the repo, they find Fluid Fortune, and they find The Phantom.
User → Cloudflare edge → Cloudflare Tunnel → Nginx (port 8181) → llama.cpp server (port 8080) → Qwen2.5-1.5B-Instruct Q4_K_M → tokens stream back in real time.
No data persists. No user information logged. No conversation history stored server-side. Each session is stateless. The only record of the conversation is in the user's browser memory, which evaporates when the tab closes.
WozBot's entire personality lives in a single system prompt inside the HTML file. The deployment is entirely self-contained — the character definition travels with the UI.